The world is constantly changing and so is our understanding of where we belong in it. I recognize that our world has become one where we define ourselves by our status. When I ask clients, "WHO ARE YOU" I often hear:
I AM a nurse
I AM a great wife
I AM a mother
I AM a carpenter
I AM a ... you get the idea.
While these are parts of what you do, and bits of who you are, they are not the whole YOU. But, this is how we are taught to recognize our value, basing it on what we do rather than honoring our true authentic self which goes far beyond that.
When one of these things goes wrong and we lose it, often times we lose our compass as well, our sense of self.
That is the perfect time to TRULY and HONESTLY rediscover! Change is always messy, but it is also the perfect to reorganize, redefine and rediscover our purpose. That is what transitional coaching is all about. Discovering who you are NOW and what that means.
Let's do a quick exercise. Write 5-10 I AM statements, they should only have 1 or 2-word descriptors after them. Now really look at those statements, give it a hard stare and recognize how many of those things are roles and not personal values or qualities about yourself. Those are the things you BELIEVE people know you for, that is where you BELIEVE you get your VALUE from.
I can tell you that you are much more than your job, role in your family etc. If you talked to anyone around you who truly loves you and ask them to give you 5-10 YOU ARE statements they would not match most if any of your statements.
Now that you are on the other side of the change, we can redefine your I AM. This is important for a few reasons. If you are newly single and wanted to re-engage in a relationship you need to know your TRUE VALUE so that you do not repeat past mistakes. If you have lost a job and are looking for new employment you can use these to form your answers during interviews and aid you in recognizing what your TRUE purpose is!
I look at changes like this almost as though I have a closet that I'm reorganizing. I dump all the clothes from the closet onto the bed. Try everything on, see what fits, what doesn't, what has served its purpose and what I would like to fit into in the future. Then one by one I put everything in its place. Some are kept to pass on to others (lessons we learned), some are thrown away (past baggage we no longer need), some are kept for comfort and because they still fit (current truths) and some are kept with the hope that in the future you will look awesome in (aspirations, goals, and purpose).
If you are looking at this page, now is the time to clean out your closet!